Insecurities… they all fester inside of us. Trying to tear us down. Trying to tell us we’re not good enough, not small enough, not loud enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not talented enough & so on.
Insecurities… if not dealt with, can become powerful monsters – full of envy and malice.
Insecurity kills happiness.
I have always been an insecure person. Looking back on my life I can’t remember a time I didn’t feel insecure. Even when I think back to elementary school, I can clearly recall feeling envious of my friends, with their perfectly straight and shiny hair, their porcelain skin (yeah, I already started getting acne in elementary school… like what?!?!), and of course their new pink gauchos that were totally hip (btw…whatever happened to gauchos?)!
In retrospect, my life has often been filled with jealousy, envy, and very poor self-confidence. Don’t get me wrong, my life has still been wonderful and full of many many blessings! But I’ve frequently robbed myself from enjoying every moment to the fullest.
And I think a lot of us are guilty of this, especially us women.
Well.. a lot of it is because we are exposed to so many beauty, diet, body, skin, fashion, and wellness messages that are found in magazines, on social media, on tv, etc. that tell us how we “should” be, or act, or behave, or look. And by being exposed to, and held to, so many of society’s “standards”, we begin to believe and tell ourselves all of these unrealistic shenanigans that, honestly, are full of straight horse crap!!!!
And then there’s the comparison trap..
I KNOW y’all have heard the saying, “comparison is the thief of all joy”.
AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH?!
Comparison steals joy.
People!!! We GOTTA stop playing the comparison game. We won’t ever win…like never ever.. And trust me, I’m preachin’ to myself here as well.
I promise you, that airbrushed model you see on the cover of that beauty magazine… You know, the one that’s always sitting on the shelf in the Wal-Mart check-out line? Yeah.. she DOES NOT look like that in real life. Without her makeup team, her hair stylist, and a professional photographer with amazing editing skills.
And that girl on Instagram? The one who is seemingly always posting flawless pictures of herself? Pictures of her in a new super-cute outfit, posing at the perfect angle, smiling and laughing in exotic places with a glass of champagne in her freshly manicured hand?? You don’t even KNOW the kind of brokenness she is hiding behind that Valencia filter and big, cheesy smile.
People post their best, most beautiful and presentable selves online. Not their un-filtered, flawed, and raw selves. There are now HUNDREDS of editing apps out there where you can literally transform any picture into a version that makes the real you almost unrecognizable.
Seriously.. it’s crazy. You can turn those yellowing teeth into shiny, pearly-whites, add a little sparkle to your eyes so they pop and twinkle, and that big nasty pimple in the middle of your forehead?? HAVE NO FEAR!!! You can simply get rid of it with a quick “blemish-fix” action.
It’s seriously the craziest thing.. And what we don’t realize is that, by posting these over-edited, unrealistic pictures, we are just setting ourselves up for failure and further disappointment. You got 200+ likes on your fancy shmancy picture?? COOL! And, OMG, now that guy you’ve been crushin’ on from afar double taps your pic and then slides into your DM’s!! How great is that?!?
But wait…. what’re you gonna do when he asks to “link up”??
Here it comes… feel that? That insecurity that you were trying to filter out and cover up?.. It’s now returned, knocking harder and louder on the front door of your thoughts than before. I mean, you can’t let him see the real, un-filtered, unmasked, you!! That’d be absurd, right?!
Relationships and friendships aren’t built on edits, the perfect pose, or the number of likes you get on a picture! They are built on realness, rawness, openness, and exposure of the REAL you! Flaws and all!
If we can’t accept our FULL selves as we are, where we are, how in the world can we expect someone else to?!
I’m not saying we gotta be totally over every insecurity we have (trust me, I still have a LONGGG ways to go) BUT we have to be WILLING to fight the lies that tell us to hide our flaws, to cover them up, and to edit them out.
Society feeds us this misconception that I think most of us have, myself included, that we have to be a certain form of perfect to be worthy of self-love and acceptance. The truth is, the word ‘perfect’ was never meant to be used to describe us humans. We are flawed and that is okay!
I will say that again… WE. ARE. ALL. FLAWED. So why in the world should we hold ourselves (and others) to a higher standard?
The answer??? – WE SHOULDN’T!!
Accept that you are flawed
Accept that everyone around you is flawed
Accept that society is flawed
Accept that this world is flawed
STOP comparing your looks, your success, your happiness, your entire LIFE to everyone else’s. We should be able to admire someone else’s beauty, success, happiness, etc. without questioning our own.
So, let’s do something today, and every day, to combat those comparison traps, to fight the lies of our insecurities. Whether it be unfollowing social media accounts that trigger those comparison behaviors and insecurities, or just deleting social media altogether.
Or maybe, and here’s a real challenge for ya, try posting a picture with NO makeup, NO edits, NO filters, and see for yourself that those who love and care about you still accept you, the REAL you. Go out in public with a bare face, un-brushed hair, wearing that same over-sized t-shirt you had on yesterday. Try to see if anyone notices your bed-head, or if anyone points out your semi-wrinkled shirt (they won’t). It’s more freeing than you’d think.
Let’s stop hiding our insecurities and let’s bring them to light!
Your story, your life, YOU are so special and so unique.. and so not worthy of being silenced by the lies of insecurities and comparison.
Show the world the very things that make you, YOU!